by Ernest Jones

The room seems to spin as the doctor’s words slam into you. You want to shout at him, but instead you force yourself to calm down as you struggle to concentrate on what he is saying.

"Your vision has really decreased since your last visit. You are legally blind.  You are not to drive the car any more and your work as a nurse is over.”

In shock, you try to understand what he is telling you.  Silently you cry, "it is not fair."  Anger builds inside you, and even this anger causes you distress. You shake your head, willing the blurry vision to clear and this deep fear to leave.  "What will I do now?" you mumble, not expecting any answer.

“You sign up for Social Security,” the doctor answered.

With fading eyesight there will be problems, but none so difficult you can’t manage them. Do not give up. Rather, shift into your fighting mode and press on. You may go through all the stages of the grieving process, like anger and depression, and may even want to give up on life. But do not allow anyone, including yourself, to place restrictions on you that do not belong there. You will still be able to do just about anything you want.

You will hear statements like, "don’t use those knives for they are sharp" (Never mind that more cuts come from dull knives than from sharp knives).

Another will say, "Don’t use those pruning sheers (or that saw, or that hammer).”

“Surely you are not going to climb that ladder.” 

“You can’t vacuum the carpet anymore," and the list goes on.

My suggestion is to ask, "Why not?”

Give me three good reasons why I should not do this job or activity, and I will show you that I can still do them.

You can continue doing almost any job you want while making only minor changes.

Are you one who loves to cook, keep a clean house and have guests in? You can continue doing these—with some reasonable adjustments.

Are you one who likes to garden? Fine. Now you will have more time for gardening. It’s fun showing others how easy it is to tell a garden plant apart from a weed.

About the only thing you might have to give up is reading regular print and driving the car. I know it is not easy to hand over the keys to your Mercedes, but you can adjust.

There are many ways you can still read. Many books and magazines are distributed in large print and in various audio formats. There are magnifying glasses in many sizes and strengths. You will also find more technical equipment, which may allow you to read standard books and newspapers.

Sometimes I hear people say, "Oh I can still see well enough, so I don’t need to get help." But when the vision worsens this person is devastated, depressed and has no coping skills. Better to check out your options before your vision grows worse. Learn how to do daily activities in new ways before you are forced to change. The more you learn, the better your life will be if your vision does worsen or disappear.

One of my friends re-wired his neighbor’s basement. When the inspector came he turned to my friend and said: "I know you are blind, but you did a great job. Now tell me, how did you do it?"
"Oh," my friend replied, "there are only three wires to worry about so what can go wrong? You see this wire, well it is cold, and this wire is hot, but this wire doesn’t even feel."

My friend did the wiring but he had his neighbor match up the right colored wires.

Another friend mows his small lawn (this he still continues to do even after backing up one day and sitting down on one of his rose bushes).

When the dark night does settle down around us, even the beautiful valley may look dreary and scary at first. But remember, the darkest time is just before the dawn and the valley will bloom again. Though hard to find in the darkness, blessings can and will still come.

The Psalmist wrote,
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
       if I settle on the far side of the sea,
 even there your hand will guide me,
       your right hand will hold me fast.
 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
       and the light become night around me,"
 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
       the night will shine like the day,
       for darkness is as light to you.
(Psalm 139:9-12, NIV)

Ernest Jones is a regular columnist for Connected and Lifeglow magazines.