by Pastor Rich Carlson 

I once recommended to a group of young people to be nice to those around them. I received a response that I had left someone out—myself! It was good counsel. Being nice to everyone in your life should start with loving yourself.

"Love one another as I have loved you" (John 13:34) is a good rationale for how to love, but the Bible also tells us to "Love my neighbors as ourselves" (Mark 12:31). So I conclude that I should first love myself as God loves me, and then love my neighbor in the same way. If I can't love myself, I can't love others.  

Romans 12:11-16 says:  

"Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited." 

Using these verses as a guide, I made a list of behaviors that can help me love myself, and those around me, as God loves me. I should: 
 
1.    be zealous to serve the Lord. 
2.    be joyful in hope. 
3.    be patient when afflicted. 
4.    be faithful in prayer. 
5.    bless those who hurt me. 
6.    rejoice with those around me who are rejoicing. 
7.    mourn with those who are in mourning. 
8.    live in harmony with my neighbors. 
9.    not be proud, or conceited. 
10.  be willing to spend time with people of any walk of life.  

I can be kind and give praise and honor to others only when I very intentionally set my mind and heart on these priorities. Pretending to be sad or happy for someone else seems fake. If you really care about others, the Lord makes your intentions real and you can be sincere with others, not fake or phoney. Through His Spirit I can trust He will make things work the way He wants.  

With that in mind, I can rejoice with my brothers and sisters, and I can have patience when there is a time for mourning. By having faith in Him, and allowing Him to create within me a healthy self love, I can treat those around me the same way I want to be treated. I can do these things when I stay connected to Him.

Rich Carlson is campus chaplain at Union College in Lincoln, Nebraska. "God is Faithful" is adapted from the email devotionals he writes regularly for the Union College family. Rich enjoys filling his life with God, his family, and especially his five grandchildren.